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The Gift of Disability

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02/2026 The Gift of Disability I first gave up working in 2001. Since then, I have been in a constant battle with time. The primary thing I have had to deal with is boredom. I went from being a full-time physician and mother to being, well, I don’t know who or what. I had already lost my marriage and my practice when my heart began to fail. I was working two part-time jobs in both administrative and clinical practice. I was adjusting to my house being empty when my kids were with their dad. And then I had to adjust to having no work. My mind remained sharp and my type A personality remained strong, but I didn’t have the physical ability to act on the ideas and desires in me. I was lost with too much idle time on my hands. As I look back on all that has happened since then, I see years of struggle mixed with seasons of purpose and joy. I see how I have been blessed to have more time to spend in God’s word, prayer, and meditation. These have brought me into a relationship with God that I had not known before. And I realize that this is a blessing many people don’t have. Most people I know are too busy to have the hours I have to spend with God. But I still struggle with purpose. Yes, I know my purpose is to show God’s love where ever I am through kindness. The what is pretty clear; the how is where I get frustrated and confused. My little church is going through changes as our new pastor is creating a new vision for us. I am no longer teaching, others are taking on responsibilities according to their gifts, and I am relegated to the unnoticed, mundane work of administrative task. NOT MY GIFTING! I have the skill, not the heart. Recently, I was complaining to God about this and asking Him how to serve Him and use my gifts in this new environment. A vision of sitting at a table in a coffee shop talking to someone appeared in my head along with an awareness of God’s presence with me. He reminded me that my doing stuff for church isn’t my purpose. My purpose is the one-on-one interactions He places me in. Some of these are with strong Christian women that strengthen and encourage me. Some are with people who are hurting, confused, angry, or apathetic towards God. I was reminded that bringing His love into this world is His highest and most profound purpose for me. He also has been reminding me that this works with my limited energy and with the hours of time I have available. So, is being disabled a gift? Frankly, it depends on the day and on my focus. When I focus on what I can’t do, it is a burden. When I focus on how God uses me because of and despite my limitation, it is a glorious gift of opportunity to serve Him.

02/2026

The Gift of Disability

I first gave up working in 2001. Since then, I have been in a constant battle with time. The primary thing I have had to deal with is boredom. I went from being a full-time physician and mother to being, well, I don’t know who or what. I had already lost my marriage and my practice when my heart began to fail. I was working two part-time jobs in both administrative and clinical practice. I was adjusting to my house being empty when my kids were with their dad. And then I had to adjust to having no work. My mind remained sharp and my type A personality remained strong, but I didn’t have the physical ability to act on the ideas and desires in me. I was lost with too much idle time on my hands.

As I look back on all that has happened since then, I see years of struggle mixed with seasons of purpose and joy. I see how I have been blessed to have more time to spend in God’s word, prayer, and meditation. These have brought me into a relationship with God that I had not known before. And I realize that this is a blessing many people don’t have. Most people I know are too busy to have the hours I have to spend with God. But I still struggle with purpose. Yes, I know my purpose is to show God’s love where ever I am through kindness. The what is pretty clear; the how is where I get frustrated and confused.

My little church is going through changes as our new pastor is creating a new vision for us. I am no longer teaching, others are taking on responsibilities according to their gifts, and I am relegated to the unnoticed, mundane work of administrative task. NOT MY GIFTING! I have the skill, not the heart. Recently, I was complaining to God about this and asking Him how to serve Him and use my gifts in this new environment. A vision of sitting at a table in a coffee shop talking to someone appeared in my head along with an awareness of God’s presence with me. He reminded me that my doing stuff for church isn’t my purpose. My purpose is the one-on-one interactions He places me in. Some of these are with strong Christian women that strengthen and encourage me. Some are with people who are hurting, confused, angry, or apathetic towards God. I was reminded that bringing His love into this world is His highest and most profound purpose for me. He also has been reminding me that this works with my limited energy and with the hours of time I have available.

So, is being disabled a gift? Frankly, it depends on the day and on my focus. When I focus on what I can’t do, it is a burden. When I focus on how God uses me because of and despite my limitation, it is a glorious gift of opportunity to serve Him.

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