The Miracle of Jesus Presence

The Miracle of Jesus Presence

I was born with a deformed heart at a time when heart surgery was in its infancy. My life expectancy was 3-4 years without medical intervention. One week before my third birthday, I had surgery to reroute the blood flow from my heart to my lungs. That kept me alive, but not normal. I grew up watching other kids play. I was often left out or left behind when I tried to participate. I spent more time with my parent’s friends than with my peers. I often prayed asking Jesus to make me normal. All I wanted was a normal life. But that wasn’t God’s plan.

When I was 16, I finally had surgery to correct all of the defects in my heart. I was so excited to be “normal”. I got to take hikes with my family, play in the band, and take PE for the first time. (which I almost flunked because I had never developed coordination and physical awareness.) I went to medical school, got married, had two sons, and had a thriving medical practice. However, in my early 40s my heart began to fail. I had more surgery and procedures. None of them restored my normal life. I had to leave the career God had called me to and all of the families I had been caring for and loved. I was angry at God and full of grief. But one thing remained steady through all of this-Jesus was always with me.

I cannot remember a time when I didn’t know Jesus and feel his presence in my life. Raised in a tradition that has a prescribed way of becoming “saved”, I was confused by this. I was baptized at the age of 6, not because of some new commitment but in response to prompting from God that it was time to do so. I had no “before Jesus/afterJesus” testimony. One day, my father told me his story. When he brought his tiny, blue, baby girl home from the hospital, he took her into the back yard and raised her to heaven. He gave his daughter to Jesus and begged him to spare her life. I believe Jesus answered his prayers and took me into his arms at that moment. I was His for life.

This year I reached a milestone uncommon for people with my heart issues-I turned 70. I have been though divorce, 2 more heart surgeries, unexplainable medical issues, the loss of my practice and health, the pain of arthritis, depression, and much more that would take too long to share. But I have always had Jesus beside me and his Spirit in me. Philippians 4:7 is a reality for me. Through all the pain, rejection, and fear, he has protected my heart and mind from bitterness, anger, and despair. I love him more than ever and continue to serve him. His grace truly is sufficient.

Deborah von Brecht

vonbrecht1654@gmail.com