My current discontent

Lately I have been discontent with my current situation. Due to the change in circumstances, things that have been meaningful to me are no longer part of my life. For example, we have a new pastor at our church. I am used to teaching our small congregation, but that is now his job. And rightly so. But if I am not a teacher, what is my position at church? If this is one of my spiritual gifts, shouldn't I be using it?

The problem with this line of thinking is that I am confusing doing and being. Teaching is something I have been doing. But it is not my identity, not even at church. What I am doing for my church is organizing and keeping financial and business records, and working on vision and policy with my pastor. In other words, my service is in the background, unseen and unrecognized. Teaching is seen and recognized. And I think that is the real problem. I like being seen. I like thinking I have influence. I like, I like, I like. The problem comes down to pride.

As I was praying (complaining) to God about all of this, I asked Him to show me how He is using me. Pictures of coffee shops and conversations entered my mind. The one place God has consistently been placing me is in coffee shops. And the one thing He consistently has me doing is listening to others and sharing my life experiences with them. And as I have reviewed my work life I see it was filled with sitting in rooms listening to people tell me their physical and mental problems, then working together to help them. Both are one-to-one conversations. Both require the skill of listening. The goal of both is to help people through the journey of healing. Rarely complete healing, mostly the next step in the journey.

I keep forgetting what Oswald Chambers says: “It is ingrained in us that we have to do exceptional things for God—but we do not.  We have to be exceptional in the ordinary things of life, and holy on the ordinary street, among ordinary people”. And I pray to be more like Paul who says^"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. Philippians 4:12. The constant lesson in my life is that my life is not about me. It is about Jesus and He determines the doings in my life.